Damn French labels on everything driving me nuts! I nearly lost it big time today stocking shelves and having to re-arrange every item so that the English side of the label was facing the audience of patrons. So frustrated was I that an electric fly swatter found its home resting on my fingertips. It was a pleasant jolt of electrical current that gave me the motivation to cheerfully return to work.
You ever have one of those days that just seems off? Everything you try to do goes a little wrong and everything anyone says just grates on your nerves. The funny thing about those days for me is that there is small niggling voice that is almost nagging, but not quite, that says things like:
"Sweety, just wash the extra dish."
"No. Clean it thoroughly."
"Yes, pick up that scrap of compost and put it in the bin."
"Now smile... on the inside, dear."
"Good start. Now lets try some joy on for size..."
"Pet the dog.... oh, please be gentle...."
"Ok, you may list your excuses in order if you must, but you know they are not going to change my mind. You still need to forgive him."
On and on the Voice goes, demanding greater and greater feats of self control, patience, forgiveness, love... until I find myself either doing what it demands or hiding my consciousness from everything that surrounds it. Last night it all felt like too much and I escaped to bed averting my eyes from everything I could manage so there would be nothing to feed on. It worked pretty well I thought. Understand now; if I can't see it, then it's not there. It seems to me that if its not there, the Voice cant tell me to do anything about it. But I couldn't close my ears. I could hear Brother on the phone in the other room talking with the family at home.
Stab.Scrape.Grit. Every word like nails on a chalkboard.
"You love him. Get over it." Came the Voice.
But he....
"Honey, I'm not really in the mood for your excuses. I'll listen, but you know what the answer is."
Grumble. Fine.
"Awe! See? Don't you feel better?"
I imagined the Voice had a huge approving grin on. That thought erased any sort of resentment I might have otherwise felt and I drifted into peace and sleep.
The Voice is never wrong.
1 year ago
So The Voice hangs out around you too. Nice. i understand completely, COMPLETELY.
ReplyDelete"picking up his socks he left in the middle of the floor is showing love even though he doesnt seem to notice and he does it 2 times a day, everyday"
"you shouldn't yell at him to shut-up when he starts talking to you while you're on the phone like it's his conversation too, you dont want him to stop talking to you altogether"
and so on. =) good post sister.